Fireblade versus R1

The Blade

'Ladies Love Cool James' is hip hop artist LL Cool J's full name although I'm pretty certain it wasn't his mother's choice! The Honda Fireblade that I test rode today could adopt a similar handle although the 'LL' would stand simply for 'Licence Loser'.


 
I sat on the bike at my local dealers as it growled away on tickover pretending to be a conscientious biker, taking an age to adjust the two mirrors and familiarise myself with the controls as a couple of blokes looked on. In reality however I was just waiting for them to bugger off before I left the car park as I didn't particularly want them to witness me wobble away on an unfamiliar motorcycle. Unfortunately I tired of the game way before the onlookers did - they were about to set up deck chairs and get a fire going as I pulled away in first gear the Blade smoothly drifting off underneath me not requiring a gear change into second until we were well out of the car park and trundling up the road.



The bike is about as smooth as one of the aforementioned rap artist's come to bed lines, it pulls effortlessly at any revs with a roll of the throttle and like Lilly Savage possesses no snatch whatsoever - I was instantly impressed as I negotiated thorough traffic onto one of my favourite twisty roads.



After leaving Gloucester I accelerated off a large roundabout onto the A419 to Ledbury and opened the Blade up for the first time. What I was expecting isn't what I got - I thought I'd experience a flighty front end, wheel skipping over the road under heavy acceleration. No chance, it was planted and remained (just about) on the deck which gave me more confidence to push the bike throught the hour that I rode it. 1st gear takes you up to 70ish (I wasn't really paying that much attention to the speedo) in the blink of an eye and it's true to say that the greenery either side of a rural 'A' road blurs as you twist the throttle and go up through the gears.



Around tight bends and even accelerating through them the steering damper does its job admirably and it's fair to say that if Alan Titchmarsh had built the bike it couldn't be any more planted. I gave it about ten or fifteen M50 motorway miles and hit speeds that I've never really felt totally comfortable with on my TT600 and there was easily more to come - brakes were fantastic and basically the bike didn't complain once throughout the whole of the ride except once during heavy braking into a right hander where the back wheel skipped about a bit. Experts would call this 'backing in', at the time I called it 'What the hell was that?!' and then I had another go at the next right hander!



As I rode the Blade back I reflected on possibly the most exhilerating ride I've had since I took up biking - the step up from 600cc to litre bike was something that I thought might not be the right move for me - now I know different. The Blade is possibly the best package I've come across since Linford Christie wore lycra shorts in the Barcelona Olympics.


The R1

A gallon in an R1 gets you approximately 100 yards in 1st gear - that was my conclusion as the bloody thing popped and gurgled its way from the Dealership to the petrol station before cutting out and allowing me to coast onto an empty forecourt. Minutes beforehand I was told by a salesman that I "might need to put some go-go juice in during the test ride 'cos there's only a gallon left in there."


 
This statement caused my mind to go into overdrive as I attempted to estimate the exact quantity of petrol required for my planned route so that I didn't end up subsidising the next bloke who took the bike out. After spending an eternity recalling facts and figures from my youth and drawing a pie chart in the gravel with the heel of my Alpinestars I gave up and used the emergency fiver that I always have in my leathers.



Once the tank was five quid heavier I turned the key and for the first time listened to the engine noise, a witch's broth bubble so evil that I expected to see acrid green smoke emanating from the underseat pipes. I pulled off the forecourt and once again made my way through the Saturday traffic out of Gloucester and onto the route I used for the Blade test ride.



My first thoughts as I filtered through stationary traffic was that the bars felt lower than the 'Blade's and that the seat was about as comfortable as a Werther's Original and twice as hard. The natural slant of the pad slid my body towards the angular tank which, in turn bisected my goolies - a Tory politician might find this quite erotic, as I have no political or sado-masochistic tendencies I found it bloody uncomfortable whilst travelling at slow speeds. In fact, if someone walked out on you during town/city riding and a sharp stop was required I'd bet a pound to a bag of chips that the bike would stop but your left nut might take out the pedestrian anyway as it got lacerated by the pointy tank and shot off down the road.



Once out on the open highway the R1 was a different beast altogether, it was smooth, effortless and easy to ride although I found it just a tiny bit twitchy under heavy acceleration. At 5000rpm the buzz through the seat was at first unerringly pleasant however after 10 seconds I felt my fillings beginning to dislodge and with that in mind I suggest Yamaha offer a hundred weight of replacement milk teeth with each purchase. The brakes were good however they needed to be used pretty aggressively. To assist a new owner in the pleasantaries of R1 braking I'd echo the thoughts of Lenny Henry just before he was about to sleep with Dawn French for the first time "Don't be shy, just grab a handful".



Through the twisty A roads the R1 felt assured and sure footed however on the Motorway the lack of a decent screen was a major problem - I felt like I had the head of a Pez dispenser as the wind hit my visor and attempted to take my Arai off and bounce it into the grass verges of the M50. Anything over 100mph made my head twitch like an epileptic in a Strobe Light Factory, it was poor and I'd expected more thought invested in this particular facet of the motorcycle. 



I rode back unfortunately, uninspired by a bike that I thought I might favour over the Blade. The Honda Fireblade is your wife - beautiful, easy to get on with and a great ride. The Yamaha R1 is akin to a girlfriend that leaves her dirty knickers on the floor - you're prepared to put up with it for so long just for the good times, but when push comes to shove you'll dump the bitch because of those annoying little traits.